Pointy Hats, Awkward Teens & Other Cringy Witchcraft Stereotypes That Must Die.

Are you so not into cats or dorky gothic cosplay? We get it. Here's some witchy stereotypes that need to die immediately.

It’s hard to blame the public for their many & varied witchcraft stereotypes.

After all, most of their information comes from Hollywood & European fairytales.

But the cringy, Los Angeles central-casting version of a witch keeps many practitioners from telling the truth when people ask them what their plans are for the full moon.

There are other factors, of course:  workplace discrimination, domestic disputes, familial religious affiliation, and even the simple matter of personal privacy all make people reluctant to come out of the broom closet.

But also:

Your neighbor who has a successful business as an interior designer?  The super-chic, sophisticated lady who dresses like Audrey Hepburn and speaks 3 languages?

Yeah, she doesn’t want you to associate her with geeky teenagers who treat every moon ritual like a cosplay event.

So she hides her tarot cards when you come over and pretends she’s Catholic.

Here’s why.

The socially awkward & emotionally frail.

Let me just start out by saying that there’s nothing wrong with being socially awkward.

I’d much rather deal with someone who struggles to make conversation than a charismatic sociopath.

But like every other geeky convention out there, public events around witchcraft tend to bring out the most, um . . . zoological members of any given subculture.  

This is why you don’t find your aforementioned, super-chic, Audrey-Hepburn-lookalike neighbor there.

Because she doesn’t really play with that crowd.

But trust me, she’s out there.  I know her.  We had mugwort tea last week.

Gothy  . . . stuff.

Wear what you want to.  Your wardrobe is a matter of personal taste.

My personal opinion is that the whole goth aesthetic is just about the most unfortunate movement ever to infect the streets of NYC.

I’d sooner die than show up to cocktail party in an 18th-century corset and black lipstick.

(Also, the idea of sleeping in a coffin sounds terrifying.  Omg people really do this?!)

Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with witchcraft.

Cat ladies.

I mean, I have to admit it: I have an affection for 65-year-old divorcees with 4 stray felines, wild hair & zero f*%ks to give.

But despite what the neighborhood kids say. most of them don’t practice witchcraft.

The mentally ill.

Mental illness is a medical issue, not a spiritual practice.

Practitioners of witchcraft are no more delusional about the world than any other grioup of people with beliefs that do not conform to a conventional understanding of physics.

That includes Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists & anyone else who thinks that maybe, just maybe, the universe is not as quantifiable as it appears.

Broke/hearbroken/generally desperate people.

Most of us have fallen into one of the above categories at some point—and by us, I mean humanity in general. 

No judgement.  

It’s fair to say that some people are attracted to magic because they think it wil help them sucker in an unrequited love or get rich.

But experiencedpractitioners stay because at some point, they figure out that magic is not a way to circumvent the universe and get what you want.

It’s a lesson about how getting what you want is almost never the same thing as having what you need.

Killing witchy stereotypes one pointy hat at a time.

2 Comments

  1. I agree with this and find it refreshing. While I do have an appreciation for certain fashion eras, I don’t often think many people can pull it off in our current culture, myself included.

    I also find myself staying away from the “witch/pagan” community out of judgment for not looking a certain way or acting in a particular manner. This often bothers me because I would like too but often along with appearances comes judgement and only after someone I find that isn’t concerned with either do I find acceptance. These past couple years I have struggled with my path because I have no one to talk to about it and it makes me question myself and in general everything. I know it’s partially my fault but I just want to find a normal group of pagans or witches similar to myself who can help and support me rather than make me feel even more isolated.
    Thanks for this article.

  2. I whole heartedly agree with the Oogie Boogie garb in this article. Goth isn’t Witchcraft. However, one portion I wish to point out (pun truly not intended) is the use of the pointy hats. Only if the Witch and/ or Pagan, Neo-Pagan know why the pointy hat is used would I condone it. The pointy hat represents the Etheral in us. it points upward to that point of energy, the Etheral Chakra. Ot also is a representation of “as above so as below”, that I , the wearer of this hat is of the Goddess, Goddesses and Gods. It directs the people’s intentions to what is important, The Universe, The Goddess, in our case Danu and the Tuatha Dé Danann. Amanda, yes you’re going to find that in the Witch, Wiccan and Neo-Pagan factions that there is this competitive spirit, judgements, and loads of Karens. I see no difference from a church group and that indeed is sad. There is an Irish/ British-Celtic Pagan Order that was established in 326 of The Common Era. It adheres to the ancient ways which are also ways of the future. Not by reclassification the religion, but by remembering that we are here to serve humanity as Pagans and as Witches. This Order looks through the ancient with modern eyes by endeavouring to bridge the gap between Science and the Divine. An example, The Order is open to the fact that our Deities could very well be more than just invisible people in the sky. We’re open to the fact that our Deities could very well be Type V Civilisation on the Kardachev Scale. That the root Magick can very well be the recently studied dark matter and dark energy which binds solar systems and galaxies together in a way seemingly outside the realm of the laws of gravity. Arthur C. Clarke stated that Magick is basically science not yet accepted, studied or proven. I’m a Theoretical Physicist, but I’m also a Celtic Pagan Master High Priest. My wife is a Temple Priestess. This Order is called The Celtic Pagan Order of Constantine and was established in 326 CE (AD) in 584 CE (AD) The Order inexplicably went underground after electing its first Queen. since that time The Order was a Seclusionary Monastic Order of Celtic Pagan Clergy only.

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